In an attempt to rationalize everything that has gone on, I decided to revisit something introduced to me by my friends.  The ladder theory is something I really did not want to believe at first.  I mean, it pretty much sets me up for many opportunities for embarrassment in the future.  However, I’ve come to accept it as somewhat axiomatic.

For anyone who isn’t aware of this theory, here’s an explanation, or at least my interpretation of it.  Basically, the ladder is a range of attraction to the opposite sex.  Essentially, girls have two ladders: one for friends and another for bf material.  On the other hand, guys have one ladder.  The website bases this on the pretense that all men just want sex, but I prefer to consider it a measure of relationship material.

The ladder theory is basically an attempt to explain why relationships between men and women are so difficult to initiate, a testament to the age-old truism of gender difference that has become fodder for hack comic stand-up routines.  When a man and a woman first meet, they place one another on a position on the ladder, and in the case of the woman, on either one of the ladders, based on criteria mentioned on the site but will not be mentioned here.  Neither the man nor the woman know where they have been placed.  This poses a problem particularly for the man, who does not know to which ladder he has been allocated.  Once he is placed on a ladder, he cannot move the other.  He can try to move to the other ladder, which the site refers to as a “ladder jump,” but he risks falling in to an abyss of awkwardness and silence.  Unfortunately, the man does not know what ladder he is on, so any attempt to show affection or attraction poses a risk for disaster.  However, an attempted “ladder jump” does not always result in failure, nor does a failed attempt end in abyss free-fall.  But, as mentioned, any attempt to change positions is extremely difficult.

Perhaps I’m using this as a coping mechanism for things.  I probably am.  Yet, this really does explain so many things.  As for the future, I don’t really plan to change in order to guarantee a spot on some girl’s bf ladder.  I’m not going to strive to be a rich, indifferent douche as the site explains as a fool-proof approach.  I won’t do this because I don’t think any girl is attracted to that kind of a person.  All I can do is be myself, something I have always done.  Eventually, there will be a girl who will come along who will place me on their ‘good’ ladder.  That’s about the closest thing to a ‘soulmate’ I think there is.

If you completely disagree with this theory, please let me know.  If you find this theory to be heterocentric, because it kinda is, I wanna know about that, as well.  Discourse is always a good thing.

I also wanted to address the association between the theory and the concept of privilege, but I need to get up early in the morning, so this will be a topic for another day.